Won’t Happen A 2nd Time

I just finished reading Khaas’ latest post over at srsbusiness. I must say that as I was reading I was taken aback because the words on the screen sounded as if they came from my finger tips. Each paragraph rang with an eerie echo that resonated more than it should have. In short, he captured the scenario that Black Sunshine had just gone through.

I wrote previously of our wayward raid leader who turned out to be a disaster for the guild. What I didn’t share was the ever present discomfort I had with him. From our introduction until our last contact, I was never really at ease with him.

Not really knowing if it was some misguided prejudice on my part, I did the best I could to shield the guild from my antipathy towards him. I went so far as to filter any of my concerns through officers to ensure that my decisions were fair and not tainted by some undeserved bias I might be harboring toward him.

I have to take a small detour here to explain something that might have some relevance. For the last 20 years or so I have worked in and environment that has required me to become a strong judge of character. Not only that, I have to do it very quickly. I like to believe that I finely honed this skill as I have come to rely on it often. I think can count the number of times I was critically wrong on one hand. You see, I have worked in prisons for the last 17 years.

I use the previous paragraph to preface this statement; I knew this guy was a snake from the very first 5 lines of text he typed to me in our introduction. Looking back I now know why I was so uncomfortable dealing with him. I had gone against my instincts by allowing him in and every fiber of my being was resonating in protest. I know this sounds a bit dramatic but I am not prone to exaggeration.

Just as the raid leader Khaas had dealings with, ours too wanted power and he wanted all of it. Once I began to rein him in, his protests began to mount. His first major act of defiance came in the form of passive aggressive sabotage. Within hours of his wings being clipped he feigned an emergency trip overseas due to work. I know now as I knew then that this was his attempt to show us (read me) that we could not raid without him. We raided anyway.

When I first learned of Khaas leaving Face on Fire I was shocked more than anything. Undoubtedly there were a number of unanswered questions floating around my head. Knowing him and the other core members of the guild, things did not add up for me. Now that he has given the missing piece to the puzzle it all makes sense. As I read Khaas’ words I could feel his frustration, I had experienced a near identical situation at nearly the same time.

Two different games, two different guilds and two different raid leaders, in the end it adds up to the same thing. I did learn something from all of this. I learned that when that internal alarm sounds, do not suppress it. Had I went with my first instinct we could have avoided countless hours of drama and we might still have the first member to ding level 50 in our guild.

Warmaster if by some chance you read this, I am truly sorry that I allowed that fucking snake drive you away from the game. Had I realized what was happening at the time I would have intervened. I really go out of my way to never flaunt or take advantage of the fact that technically I am the guild leader. Had I allowed myself to recognize the damage he was causing I would have done to him what we did to his buddy Sif, I would have made that bitch bow down!