I wonder. Do any of you experience something I call “Fat Days”? I have been overweight my entire life so of course everyday has been a fat day in that sense. But that is not what I am referring too here. I am not talking about a physical fat day; I am talking about a mental fat day. For me a “Fat Day” is a day when being fat dominates my thoughts for the day.
This sounds crazy I know, and I am not sure I can explain it but I will try. You see, there are days when my size doesn’t play a significant role nor does it affect how I feel about myself. There are days in my life when I never give my physical presence a second thought. Those are some really good days. Those are the days I actually feel human. Then there are Fat Days.
Let me be blunt, Fat Days suck. On these days I can’t escape my size. I can’t see past my physical limitations. Mentally the whole day is just kind of crap. Once I am in the throws of a Fat Day it seems as if all the small things about being fat add up fast. What really sucks is I could be having a fantastic day and the most insignificant thing can send me right into a Fat Day. Don’t get me started on having multiple Fat Days in a row. For me that is when things are at their worst and it becomes real easy to surrender.
Today I am coming off of a couple of poorly timed Fat Days. They were not back to back but they were close enough together to test my resolve. There were a couple of days last week when I was feeling ill and I ended up taking more time off than I was comfortable with. The time off really had me doubting myself.
My progress with DDPYoga has been slow but steady and as strange as it sounds a couple of Fat Days can really make that progress feel insignificant. I don’t know why but it is just the way it felt. I took sometime today and really examined where I was and where I am now and some cool things have changed for me.
As a fat guy I have always had these things that reminded me of just how fat I am. We will call these my “Fat barometers”. An example is a bath towel. Before DDP Yoga I could not wrap that towel around my waist (gut), the ends didn’t touch one another. In fact there was about a 1” gap. Today however the ends of that towel over lap by and inch and a half or so. That is progress my friends, measurable significant progress.
Who knows I might be insane and no one else has Fat Days or Fat Barometers. Maybe being obese for this long has really twisted me mentally. Maybe I am crazy and no one has told me yet. But if I am not crazy and there are some of you out there who have Fat Days, I hope that your journey with DDPYoga will push those days further and further apart. It is my wish that DDPYoga will help you and me to silence those Fat Days forever.