Someone somewhere once said “the enemy of the best is often the good.” That quote has stayed with from the first time I read it. For a long while I have struggled to understand what the writer was trying to convey. Now as I have looked back on my old life, I know exactly what the quote is trying to tell me –
All of my life there has been this imaginary finish line in my head call “good enough”. I have never really strived to be the best; I have always been somewhat satisfied with good enough. Even academically as a child, good enough was okay. In my father’s house, a letter grade of “C” was enough to keep him off my ass. Anything below a “C” and there was hell to pay but if you got a “C” it was good enough.
I have been heavy, fat, chunky, large, husky, chubby, plump and gordo all my life. There has never been a normal sized me that I can remember. Early in my childhood I learned rather quickly that kid’s can be cruel and the fat kid is always an easy target. To combat this, I always tried to limit anything (besides my weight of course) that would cause me to stand out and provide ammunition for their cruel taunts. This is about the time good enough became my motto.
One of the tricks of my good enough arsenal was to never be last at anything. If we had to run in gym class I wouldn’t strive to be first, I would strive to not be last. The way I figured it, if I wasn’t last across the line they had nothing on me. To be the fat kid was bad but to be the fat kid and last, that was too much to bear. Soon enough good enough became my best.
As I grew older, good enough stayed right by my side. The mental comparisons changed somewhat but it was still all about good enough. The one that most readily comes to mind is size. No matter what the setting, if I wasn’t the fattest person in the room that was good enough for me. I can remember numerous gatherings where I would take a mental inventory of the attendees and reassure myself that no matter how big I was, there was at least one person who was bigger. How twisted was my head?
In the last few years all of this has blow up (pun intended). Now I am the biggest person in the room. It became frightening to be honest. I mean, I’m that guy. You know the one. You walk into a room and there he is the fat guy, the really fat guy. You have to be a really big person to “out fat” a 319lb 5’7″ butter ball. That is what I was on November 1st 2012. I was the fat guy.
33 days later things are changing for me physically and mentally. Before DDP Yoga, any of the other workout programs I tried always had me attempting things I couldn’t quite do. So if I attempted them and it even if it was a half-assed attempt, I had an excuse for good enough. With DDP Yoga it is different, I can modify these exercises and I find myself pushing to do each move better.
Mentally I am pushing each work out to be better. I am mastering each move to be the best it can be. With DDPyoga if good enough shows up it leaves me feeling like I am cheating myself, my family, TeamDDPYoga warriors and as crazy as this sounds DDP himself. A mere 33 days later I find myself pushing to be the best version of me I can be.
I have already lived with the good enough me.
It is time for something better.