The Fatman Chronicles

The Fatman Chronicles – Volume II

There is a bittersweet moment when you finally give in to the fact that you have to shop at the Big and Tall store. On one hand you realize “Yep, I’m that guy. I am so far gone that I now have to shop at a special store, the one that caters to the LARGE crowd.” On the other hand you are finally in a store where the clothes will actually fit!

Before you get to that Big and Tall a-ha moment, shopping for clothes sucks. I mean it really sucks. Most major department stores rarely stock anything above a XXL and when they do, it is a damn slim XXXL. Most fat guys wandering around the men’s section of a major department store are not looking for a certain style or color. They are looking for those X’s baby.

When I was stumbling around the men’s section looking like a lost child I never abandon my sense of fashion. Unfortunately that sense of style had to take a back seat to available size. Of course there would always be the dreaded thought “Try it on, it might fit.” Hell the thing looks huge on the hanger, it has to fit. Off I would tread to the dressing room with 2-3 items only to be hit in the face with reality once more. The days of XXL have long since passed.

When I moved on from 2X to 3X I told myself, it is for “comfort” and “I like baggy clothes”. Then time marches on and some of those 3X’s have shrunk a bit (yeah they shrunk) and I found myself doing what I call the tee-shirt pop. Oh you are not familiar with the tee-shirt pop? Let me break it down for you. The tee-shirt pop is where you put your shirt over your head, shoulders and gut. You leave your arms inside of the shirt and you S…T…R…E…T…C…H that sucker out. Remember it shrunk a bit and I like baggy clothes.

Then it happens, you find those 3X shirts just aren’t as baggy and maybe you should give that 4X a try. I like baggy and this thing has a nice feel to it. The shirt kind of hangs off of me and the lumps and the bumps aren’t so pronounced. Man oh man what a slippery slope that can become. I have one 4X shirt and that b**** will be my last. I am working hard to make my 3X shirts baggy once again. For my birthday in April I will wear 2X comfortably. How is this for a major proclamation.

I am thankful that Arthur’s video sparked an idea that took a few months to ignite. That lowly spark has now become a flame that burns hotter each day. I am on my way folks and I am going to get there with a BANG!

Remember, as a famous comedian once said “It is called Big and Tall but there are never any tall guys shopping there!”

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