MCSLF Syndrome – The smell of shame!

I mentioned last week that I would be writing about some of the search terms people are using to find my blog. Admittedly most of the search traffic is looking for information on Chloromancer healing but occasionally there will be a wild result here or there.

Today’s Search Topic: My computer smells like fish.
I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried. I am at a loss with this one. There are a couple of things that bother me about this one but I will stick with the most obvious. How in the hell does “my computer smells like fish” equal anything ever written about on GTFOOTF?

So let’s dissect this little ditty shall we? The most obvious is the smell. There are only a few reasons why a computer would smell like fish and all of them seem very obvious to me. I have a sneaking suspicion that in this particular case there has been a lot of one handed typing going on. Sticking (pun intended) with this line of logic it would appear that your computer case has been the unfortunate victim of biological splash back.

The second point I want to discuss is the fact that obviously whoever typed this unfortunate string of words is looking for some solution to their expressed problem. This is the world we live in, have a problem Google a solution. While doing a bit of research for this post I typed the previously mentioned phrase into Google to see how many pages deep GTFOOTF was in the search results. I never found it.

Also while pursuing I seen no obvious solution to the dreaded fishy smelling computer. Because of this I will offer a few here. That’s just the kind of guy I am, always willing to help. Never let it be said that I don’t give the readers what they want. I present to you the GTFOOTF solution to the “My computer smells like fish” epidemic of 2011.

• Step one – Don some personal protective equipment and clean your computer. Your errant baby batter is the cause of your malodorous work station. Remember to unplug said machine before taking it to the car wash. It will probably never run again but it will smell super fresh when you are done.
• Step two – Disinfect! While there are a number of approved chemical disinfectants on the market, I suggest you take your machine to get sand blasted! This is the only way to prevent your cat from becoming sick/pregnant from rubbing up against your machine.
• Step three – Prophylactic. Not for you but your machine. I suggest commercial grade trash bags. Enclose said machine in TWO bags for safety. Why two? In case one breaks silly. She is a double bagger for sure!

Now that your machine is clean and protected here are a few steps to help with the prevention of “MCSLF Syndrome.”

• Tip one – Abstain: Go outside and get some air and exercise. While you are out get your eyes checked, superstition says you could go blind. It is better to be safe than sorry.
• Tip two – Improve your aim: Try and umm… shoot at something other than your computer. Try a tissue, a sock or any other washable/disposable item.
• Tip three – Find a girlfriend: They come with GTFOOTF approved man juice receptacles. Hopefully after some time she will be generous enough to allow  you to make regular deposits. If you are married, see tips #2 & #4.
• Tip four – Buy an IPad: This will allow you to become mobile. This freedom will allow you to get inventive with your target options. Think big! Try the drapes, the kitchen sink or the fish tank. Your options are only limited by your imagination.

Hopefully with these tips we can begin to battle this unfortunate scourge. There is now help available to fight MCSLF. I ask of you please, spread the word far and wide and soon enough this page will realize its full potential in Google’s search results. With this accomplished, the afflicted will no longer have to suffer. You can make a difference!

Disclaimer** All information provided herein is for educational/entertainment purposes only. GTFOOTF.com can not be held responsible for broken computers, missing socks, pissed off wives or dead fish.